While boringly surfing the net, my officemate had the chance to go through the tarot reading webpage.
Immediately, I asked her to do a love calculator for Rob and me. This is what we got:
Aries and Virgo
Your spontaneous and childlike ways can be critically and harshly judged by the analytical Virgo. Virgo is drawn toward service and hard work, and makes a wonderful host or hostess. They are usually first to tidy up after a party, school function, or holiday gathering. You, on the other hand, may on occasion forget the golden rule of service, preferring the gaiety of social pleasure and the personal gratification of the moment.
Good humor is a key that can unlock the potential success between such different styles -- your impulsiveness and Virgo’s compulsiveness. Virgos can have tremendous wit and you Aries really know how to laugh at yourself. If your Moon is in an earth sign (Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn), your chances for long-term compatibility are increased, since your styles may not be as different as described.
If you can each manage to respect your natural differences and make adjustments to your lifestyle, you can create a long-lasting team with your Virgo partner. Your open and cheerful ways can keep your Virgo happy, while they bring a level of mental clarity into your life that can really help you along on your path.
Almost half my relationship with Rob kinda evolved with my friend who can see foresee the future. I always ask her if we would be like this like that, if we would fight on this day or not and more.
My friend told me not to be totally dependent on her foresights because I still live my own life. For some odd reason, I still live my life according to what she says and sees and it comes true!!!
Almost every decision I make, I call her up and ask if it was according to my stars or if she sees me doing it, until the time I got her in Dubai, I still call or text her.
I know this is not good.
I try my best not to call her or text her anymore…. Because there came a point where I was addicted into asking her almost everything about my life… that one day, it was like I was her puppet and she’s my master.
Can’t blame her though because it was my fault.
Now, I try to live it by my rules and with God’s grace.
I’m in shocked. I was surfing my emails when one mail caught my attention, New friendster message from (S-----). I had to check twice if it was his name.
A few entries back, I mentioned that an old love tried adding me to his friendster list. I ignored his request. I don’t think I’m ready to be friends with him again. Well, it was I who initiated the ‘conflict’ but he doesn’t have the right to hurt me that way or does he?
S (Sorry techie, had to borrow your format in keeping names, I don’t want trouble that’s why) was a friend of a friend. We never thought we’d hit it off because he was a sea farer… S pursued me and eventually the feelings became mutual. He was nice, a gentleman I could say. He always pampers me – treats me to fancy restaurants, gives me flowers and chocolates, gives stuff toys – the typical boyfriend.
I was excited about him… We talk over the phone until dawn. As I have said, I believe that communicating with your partner is one of the reasons why a relationship lasts.
I even got the courage to tell my mom that this guy, S, was courting me.
On our fourth month, out of the blue while he was babbling about his trips and his family… I thought out loud “I’m beginning to be bored with this relationship.”
I think it was about three o’ clock in the morning… Silence… Dead Air…. I wanted to take back what I said but then I thought, hey that was the truth. He suddenly bored me…. Why? I don’t know…
It was dead air for about 30 minutes… Then we said our goodbyes.
I still thought it was not a nice way to break up…
Because of the guilt feeling I had, I tried calling him up almost everyday… but he rejected my calls… I knew it hurt him. I could also feel the hurt from his sister’s voice… whenever I called and looked for him.
Almost a month past, he called me up. I was relieved…. Then he said his piece…
“We have to end this. I guess, you just have to find someone who is richer than me.” Then he hung up. Richer? RICHER? Does being bored with the relationship concerns money??
I had a hard time letting go what he said… Damn! Richer? F**ck!
That was almost five years ago…
Now, I am still staring at his friendster message… finally reading what I wanted to hear for a long time.
meron lng akong sasabihin sayo.. eee... =) i just have to tel you this... na maatagal ko ng gustong sabihin sayo.. im sorry sa lahat ng nagawa ko sayo.. na nasaktan kita b4 or basta.. lam mo na yun.. sorry po.. sa lahat.. pero i hope you've felt na minahal nmn kita ng totoo.. pero sumobra ata.. kasi kaw una kong g.f. nd ko nasabi sayo yun... basta im sorry.. im not expecting a friendship from you or whatever.. pero.. i can be a friend to help or hear you laugh wenever u need me..
Now, we have a closure… after long five years…
“I don’t know what will happen but I just want you to know that I like you.”
“I like you too.”
“How do you say I love you in Chinese?”
" Goa Ai Di"
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Ring!
Ring!
“Hello?”
“Stop it!”
“Why? I like telling it to you… Can we go out?”
“Sure”
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It was a bright sunny day. People were running to get away from the heat of the sun. I walked to his direction, he was wearing a light brown slacks and a two toned shirt. He looks sexier without a cap, I thought. He looks so conscious… (It could be his attire --- he said he wanted to have a ‘thrown-in’ look) Our eyes met, he suddenly felt relaxed.
He waved an FX taxi and we rode at the back. I immediately slipped my arm to his. He looked at me. I smiled. He, again, relaxed.
We were quiet the whole time.
We reached our destination. He held my hand and squeezed it. I looked at him. He smiled. It was one of his features that I like so much! We went to an ice cream parlor at the Shang. We chatted. Laughed at some crazy stories …. Then … I held his hand and squeezed it. He jumped.
“Maybe you need to go home. I’ll take you home now.”
“Now, there’s more time to spend. Why don’t we watch a movie?”
We headed to the movie house. In that dark space, he hugged and kissed me.
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That was four years ago. Yesterday, we just celebrated four years and three months of being together.
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Whenever we celebrate our ‘monthsary’, I’m always surprised because with my past relationships, they never last. It always end up that I see something in them that I don’t like and immediately break off… Rob is different. He’s not perfect. I also see a few ‘eekss’ and ‘yuck’ but not enough to end the relationship.
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I hope the love story doesn’t end… =)
I chatted with one of my good friends who happens to be the cousin of my brother's girlfriend. We (again, why does this topic have to be brought up ALL the time) chatted about marriage. She said her cousin(my bro's gf) told my brother that she already wanted to get married. My lil bro said that they will as soon as he graduates! 
Can you believe that?! Well, his gf is nice but i don't think i'm ready to let go of my lil bro... not yet...
It took me about a year or a few months before i could accept he has a girlfriend (she was his first)... haha... suddenly i think i'm acting like my mom! 
I just had a conversation with a friend about relationships and marriage. .. 
You see, Rob and I want to get married maybe in two years time or next year if possible…
I wanted to… I think that is the next level for me since we are living together, why not make it legal right? I asked myself and smiled…
A few seconds, the smile was replaced with fear when a thought came to mind ----MY MOM-----
I remember when I was in my puberty stage, my mom would always tell me that boys are liars and should never be trusted (how come we trust my brother so much and so is my dad??) She said they will only make you cry.
I didn’t mind what she said and went on from one relationship to another (without her knowing it! – I’d be dead by now if she knew anything about it) True enough, I got hurt but most of the time happy.
One day, she asked me if I was having a relationship with someone … (It could be mother’s instincts --- why she asked)… I LIED. I told her I don’t have. 
A few years passed, I got up all my courage to tell my parents about my relationship with Rob (it was when we were just starting – imagine this, we’re in our fourth year now going to our fifth next year.
My mom almost fell from her seat while my dad was totally cool about it. She kept on bugging me with questions like how old is he, where does he work … Finally; she says this, “Bakit ang tanda??? Lolokohin k a lng nyan. Ikaw naman si tanga, magpapaloko ka!”
This is one of the reasons why I don’t like opening up with my mom especially about relationships. I don’t want to judge her but my mom is not open with this kind of conversation.
Now, I’m planning to tell my mom about it… Our plans, my plans… I think I need to do this…. No, I have to.
I know I owe my life to my mom but does that give her the right to choose what’s best for me? To choose who I should love and who I should not?
I love my mom… actually, I love them both….
Now, before you get the misconception, my parents don’t really choose ALL the time --- just MOST of the time… but still…
Right now, several scenes are playing inside my head on how I’d introduce Rob… 
This baby is one of the reasons why I'd like to have one... such a cutie huh! 
It is the first day of June and from where I am now, I can feel the raindrops falling on the rooftop… The cold breeze of the monsoon wind (right?) touching my face while I look out the window… Getting wet while walking the streets… Lazing on the bed… and getting a big hug from your loved ones… these are some of the things I like during the rainy days.
June…. June…. Just this month, I heard some good news from a college friend. You see, this friend had her first baby when we were in 2nd yr… I was shocked at first but was touched when I was the first one to know her condition.
Now, I am one of the godparents for her lovely child. I remembered, I always go to her house to visit my ‘inaanak’ . Days passed, thesis and other research papers came, jobs come and go, I hardly visit their house anymore but I tried my best to keep in touch with them thru text or thru the phone.
Just a few days back was my friend’s birthday… I got to chat with another college friend and she told me that our friend had another baby – a baby girl. I texted her, greeting her a happy birthday and asked about my godson. She said that my godson will start studying and will be turning 4 this coming June.
Suddenly a thought came to mind… am I ready to have a son/daughter? This idea always plays on mind. I think I am old enough to have one but am I mature enough to have one? 
I am so proud with women who continues their pregnancy at a young age or women who bore and support a child alone. It’s a big responsibility…. And I salute them. 
Going back why I wanted to have one at the age of 23 is because I want my child and me to have that bonding. You see, my mom and I have this generation gap, the I’m-too-conservative-so-you-should-be-too attitude. We always argue about me falling in love and getting into relationships, she’d always say “Babae ka, maraming mawawala sayo.” Why? Does that mean that men don’t lose something when they fall in love? Does that mean we lose a lot because we end up having the responsibility all by ourselves, just in case the man doesn’t want to take the responsibility?
I think we gain more than the male species. 
We give life. With that life, we will gain a friend, a cheer booster, a shopping partner (if it’s a girl) or a date (if it’s a boy).
It’s them who lost it. I don’t know but that is how I see it…
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By the way, who said having relationships would lead us to giving life right?? I hate that kind of thinking…
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Just a few hours back, Rob asked me if I want a baby now… My answer?
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