I can’t believe the blog I’ve been writing for the past few days… I look desperate!!! Well, I’m sorry for that outburst…

I’m not jealous or envious of those people I’ve mentioned… Actually, I’m happy for them for all the achievements they got… They deserve it…. We deserve what we have…

Sorry guys… Techie…sorry friend…

I shouldn’t be insecure about me and my work ( I know I’ve been telling this to myself for sometime).

(“,)

I'm taking a few minutes break --- now what does that mean?

A break from endless phonecalls, a long line of letters to be printed, signed and sent to the people concerned and from running to and fro because people need these and that.

I'm feeling sentimental again about why I'm here and all that I've been telling you all ever since I came here. I'm bad but I envy people. Yes, I do.

I envy techie for her summer escapades and all that cute stuff she's doing for her job. I envy a friend of mine because she is very contented with her family life. I envy my friend who was once my apprentice because she is going to be interviewed by one of the companies I was dying to work with when I was in the Philippines. I envy girls who has great curves.

I feel like I've never accomplished anything at all. I feel like I'm a loser on all aspects.

This blog is killing me. Maybe I'm just tired.

Well, here's another paper waiting to be typed and printed out for proofreading. I'm going back to work...

It’s strike two for me this week.  

Yesterday, I was so busy making letters and sending them out, answering phone calls and taking down their messages, and assisting visitors to their respective rooms for meeting or whatever.

After doing all that, I took a break when my phone rang. It was a friend asking for some financial aid. I listened to her but then a common friend said that she doesn’t have a good history of paying back her debts so I was kinda hesitant to lend her some money.

Ok, I told her I’ll try to think about it. I immediately called up a friend but an incoming call came in so I hung up. After the business call, I phoned my friend again but then the boss came with raging eyes and said, “I’m calling you” and waved his hand because he found what he was yelling for – our office boy.

I felt small, like a nine-year-old being yelled at by her mother. Good thing nobody was there to witness it. Then I reasoned to myself, he should have approached me and told me that his guests wanted water or something and not yell.

Yelling is not good or is he allowed to do that to me because he’s my superior?

===

Today, I got a good yell and some of those raging eyes too when I didn’t fax something to our head office for someone.  

This I know is my fault. I should have faxed it… I forgot about it. I’m just human.

===

After a few minutes, we are in good terms again. I’m just glad that people here don’t dwell much on the topic or the wrong thing done as long as you can fix it. My superior said he dislike the “HATE” word.  I just hope that tomorrow, I won’t get the same treatment.

===

I want a vacation.

I’m kinda bored and pissed. Let’s start with why I’m pissed. I started my morning okay. Kissed Rob and went off to work. As soon as I arrive here, my office boy (yes, I have one!) looked at my shoulder --- there it was a sort-of big hole on my shoulder!!! To my horror, I ran to the bathroom and took a good look. My fault actually, because before, I already used this blouse and it has ‘the hole’ however, I didn’t mind it because I knew it won’t get big – but it DID!

Shortly, after I got out of the toilet, another office guy from another company came and submitted some letters to me and…. He also NOTICED! I just lamely told him that ‘the hole’ was because I got stuck in the elevator and I was rushing so there was no time for me to change clothes. He accepted the reason but was still snickering along with my office boy… Gawd! How could this happen???  

Every time somebody comes in or greets me or whatever, I immediately show or move to my other shoulder so that they will not see ‘the hole.” However, I wasn’t always successful with it because one of the bosses here borrowed my boss’ car and he smiled at me but his eyes shifted to my shoulder but he didn’t made any comments -- definitely I felt his eyes on my shoulder (or was I just imagining)

Boring? Nothing to do. My other computer (I’m using two computers…) crashed – the other database included (the one we’re using to log in shop drawings, requests for information and minutes of meeting).

I called up the technician and asked for assistance. While waiting for the computer to show the “Windows XP Professional”, I asked him, what is the reason why computers crash, he answers me “It’s like asking me why people die?”

I’m not that knowledgeable with computers and this is the first time I experienced a semi-crash (the computer worked again for some odd reason and the technician said it doesn’t happen much) and it ticked me --- so this is how a techie person feels when his/her favorite computer crashes (not saying this is my fave computer... but this is what I have been using for sometime now.. so I feel attached to it! )

The guy who can fix this will be coming today – he said. I hope so because work is beginning to pile up… damn!

Those are my two moods for now… mmm… doing nothing can really make you hungry (I joined the club people – calling on ex_groupie – I’m trying to lose weight by drinking tea… tea is actually good here)… I’ll eat my lunch now.

- this was actually a post I made last Wednesday but due to some computer technicalities, it wasn’t posted… I was thinking not to post it but what the heck! Hehe…

My mind is actually lost right now. I don’t know what to write. Actually, I’m just enjoying reading other people’s blogs.

While reading all your blogs, I feel that you’ve let me and your readers to be part of your world by sharing your fears, your excitement over a date, show, etc, your anger towards a person, place or thing and everything in you.

I cant’ believe how much blogging could bring us close to each other like a virtual journal with online friends to give you advice, agree with you that you did the right thing or cheer you up when you’re down.

As for me, I earned a lot of friends thru blogging, some I already knew and got a deeper friendship with them and some, accidentally, became virtual friends (right kitsch?). --- I also like the way some people put the name-links on each other's blogs... kewl!

Even if I’m here in the land of camel and sand (this is a typical TFC description of what Gulf States are), I still feel like I’m just there close to all of you.