I have always valued my relationships... be it with my boyfriend (soon-to-be husband), my sisters and brothers (biological and acquired), my parents and friends.
Having to end a relationship due to a miscommunication or other minor 'issues' you could think of is like wasting your time over that relationship.
For months, words were thrown back and forth...snide remarks were left in the air... hanging...the cold stares were like sharp blades... trying to hit each other...
It was hard... painful..
And I thought being silent will solve everything... that it will stop the stares, the snide remarks and the harsh words... but no...
And now... it stopped because I decided to speak up... I just hope it ends here. right now.
So to you... goodbye for now and maybe when the scars are all healed... I will again smile and be ready...
I sure hope it will be soon...
I don't know where to start.
Just when I am about to cope with things not going 'my' way... this happens.
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I am again pestered. Why do you think whenever something goes wrong, we can never, ever remember what good deeds this person did for you instead we dwell on what they have done, what you need from them... why?
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I hate this 'low' feeling that I have. I'm not this kind of person. People who I've been with see me as 'sunshine', always ready to give a smile even with so much pressure going on. Ready to crack a joke when there's some friction... always giggling even without reason.
Now, I feel my smiles are fake. My happy moments are so limited. I AM NOT THIS PERSON!!!
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Work has been a lot of pressure lately because of Ramadan. We only have about 8 hours of work and the Muslims only 6 hours. I have been staying in the office till about 5:30 pm to catch up with work so that I don't need to lose my head early in the morning.
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Just when I thought this whole month is all about depression and not being able to speak up.... I GOT MYSELF AN AWARD!!!!
A colleague of mine nominated me and I was acknowledged by the company with my 'can-do' attitude. I was over the moon... because the General Manager from UK will be personally handing me my certificate!!!! SOO HAPPY!!!!
My boss called up our Managing Director and my boss said that the Managing Director recalls that I got awarded!!!! ' You have made your mark on our book,' my boss says.
Gosh! If my week started with it being one of my lowest, today is one of the highest points in my life!!!! A JOB WELL DONE they say!!!!
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God is good. ** THANK YOU **